Funny stuff till I can come up with something serious!!

YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 2006 when...

1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave.

2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.

3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3.

4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.

5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don't have e-mail addresses.

6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries.

7. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen.

8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it.

10. You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your coffee.

11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. :- )

12. You're reading this and nodding and laughing.

13. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list.

14. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn’t #9 on this list.AND NOW U R LAUGHING at yourself.

Great stuff!!!

Baseball, how sweet it is!!!

PLAY BALL!! Pitchers and Catcher reported to spring training last week! On a side note. I wonder which position the wet-behind-the-ears kid takes, pitcher or catcher? Or maybe he just blocks punts! Back to the game of baseball! By far the greatest sport ever created!! I think there was someone or something supernatural inspiring the creator of this game. Our National Pastime! What in the world does that mean?! I just love this game! From the smell of leather glove, the crack of the bat (I'm old school so that would be a wooden bat), the smell of the dirt and grass! I love walking through the tunnel in the stadium with all the concrete and steel around you. Everything is gray in color then you come to the end of the tunnel and WHAMO! Beautiful green and brown colors! How green the grass looks in the lights at a night game! I get a thrill everytime I see that. Have you ever thought about this game. The length between bases? How that if 1st base was 1 foot closer to home plate a batter could out run a routine ground ball? If the base was 1 foot farther away, the batter would probably not beable to beat out any ground balls. The distance from 1st to 2nd is 90 ft. If it was any closer, catchers wouldn't throw out near as many runners! It would be to easy for the runner. If they were a foot longer, there wouldn't be any chance of stealing a base! Isn't this game grand!!

Man, I love this game, and it really steams me that some players took it upon themselves to "bulk" up with steroids. And I even fell for the old "No, it's the creatine and steaks I eat that help me bulk up". Pluuuueeeease!! Give me a break!! When 2nd baseman and shortstops start looking like linebackers and hitting home runs with the greatest of ease!! Something is wrong. I guess I am what they call a baseball purists! Pete Rose, the sleaze that he is. never hurt this game like these so called super stars have! And what is with Barry Bonds!! Why does he get a free pass! He doesn't get called to Washington to go through the senate hearings!! What does he have something on the senators!! Get rid of the DH too! Make the pitchers hit! Just as the National league! It gives a total different feel to the game! Anyways, The best sport in the world is about to begin!! PLAY BALL!!!

Sadness in my heart

I was going to post something about the start of the upcoming baseball season. I love that game. But I got lamblasted by a fellow blogger and he has saddened my heart. Wyatt don't call me a wuss or anything ;} but this guy just exudes hate and venom. I had posted a comment on his website. Here is the link and my comment. I guess he took it personal somehow and considered it hate mail. I don't hate this person, I don't even know him. He sounds like a sad, twisted man. And at such a young age. He has a hatred and contempt for Christians apparently. So he took my comments and decided to use it as his post and a rant. I don't hold any malice towards this young man. He insulted me and my family. He doesn't know me or my wife or my dad. It really is sad. You know as I sit here and think on what this young man said it is starting to make me laugh. He tried his hardest to slam me and my family and it was really comical. If he only knew my wife! Out barhopping looking for another man while I sit at home watching desperate (he needs to learn how to spell too) houswives! Man that is funny!! My wife in a bar! That is funny. Well anyways, I have wasted enough bandwidth on this. Go by and read his diatribe and come back and let me know what you all think! Baseball post soon!!

Funny Joke III

I got this in an e-mail from my Mom!!

The Bargain Bill Clinton started jogging after his recent heart attack near his new home in Chapaqua. But on each run, he happened to jog past a hooker standing on the same street corner, day after day. Each day he would brace himself as he approached her for what was most certainly to follow. "Fifty dollars!" she would shout from the curb. "No. Five dollars!" fired back Clinton, "I'm the former President of the United States!" This ritual between Bill and the hooker continued for days. He'd run by and she'd yell, "Fifty dollars!" He'd yell back, "Five dollars!" One day, Hillary decided that she wanted to accompany her husband on his jog. As the jogging couple neared the problematic street corner, Bill realized the "pro" would bark her $50 offer and Hillary would wonder what he'd really been doing on his daily outings. He realized he should have a believable explanation to offer the junior Senator. As they jogged into the turn that would take them past the corner, Bill became even more apprehensive than usual. Sure enough, there was the hooker. Bill tried to avoid the prostitute's eyes as she watched the pair jog past. Then, from the sidewalk, the hooker yelled, "See what you get for five bucks?!"

That's funny I don't care who you are!!!!

The Love of my Life

Hey, all you guys out there, you are probably not going to want to read through all this! The gals might be another story. Anyways this post today is dedicated to the one woman that has made my life what it is today....Wonderful!!

It is going on 17 years now. WOW! 17 freaking years!! Think about it!! A farm girl in Missouri met city boy from Oregon. Man talk about culture shock!! But, that southern accent and black skirt was all I could think about after we met for the first time. We met at a wiener roast. I ended up feeding my hot dog to the dog. And anybody that knows me, knows I don't usually get rid of any food!! You knocked my socks off!!

As you wrote me... I wish I could say we wrote each other but that would be a lie! I was not a very good boyfriend! Too interested in Basketball! What a moron! Yet there every 2 or 3 days was a letter from you!! Amazing!! Telling me all about yourself and your college classes, your goofy brothers, and other things I can't get into here. He! I should have realized then what a woman I was getting! And getting is right, you gave yourself to me, nothing held back, no reservations! Just open ended love! It made me love you even more!

This is where it gets interesting! Three months go by! And WHAMO!! Engaged!! 3 months??! how could it last!! We were married 5 months later, and so the saga began! You have been the most amazing partner (woman, I don't go for the same partner stuff) a man could ever hope for! your dedication to our marriage through thick and thin, I would put through richer or poorer but we've never been rich! Just poor and poorer! you have covered for me even when you new I was wrong! You have always had by back, never have I ever had to worry that you would do anything to hurt or embarrass me in public, on purpose! We have embarrassed each other many a time on accident though, and those are teh funny times!

Most of all though! I have seen you deal with loss of our son Matthew, going through the stages of loss and sadness with a grace that I could not muster! You gave of yourself during that time to make sure that I had someone to lean on and cry! You have done the most important of jobs that any woman could do. I know that in this lifetime it is very likely that we will see our first Woman president. But whoever that woman is, can't hold a candle to what you have done bringing up our children! The sacrifice you have done, to stay at home and do that job is amazing to me!!

You have moved from your beloved Missouri. I guess the saying is true. You can take the girl out of Missouri but you can't take Missouri out of the girl. You have held true to all of your marriage vows. Especially the one of going where I would go! Beside me not behind me! We have been through so much together, moved way to many times, and yet I am more in love with you than ever before! There is a reason that I say I would never marry again if you died *God Forbid* (little private joke). I just don't think I could ever find any one that would measure up!!

The southern accent is just about gone, but that black skirt,....Well some things are better said behind closed doors;} besides we never know who is going to read this! HA! Love ya babe!!!

p.s. I know the picture is crooked, it was meant that way!!

Dr Love is in!

Guys, is this "Holiday Season" (can't say Valentines Day it might offend all teh Valentines out there) getting the best of you? Has Dr Love got a deal for you! Some great advice, here and here, and some bragging from some of the "romantic" guys out there. Bleeeh! Anyways if you need help in that area, and I'm talking to you Pinhead, Fugly and Joecool, go see The Ubmiester of Love!!

Funny Joke II

Here is one I recieved from my uncle.

The US Postal Service created a stamp with a picture of Senator Hillary Clinton to honor her achievements as the First Lady of our nation. In daily use, however, it was shown that the stamp was not sticking to envelopes. This enraged Senator Clinton, who demanded a full investigation. After a month of investigating, a special commission published the following findings:....






*The stamp was in perfect order. *There was nothing wrong with the glue/adhesive. *People were spitting on the wrong side.

That is Funny!!!!!

Are you crying?, There is no crying in baseball!!!

In this case blogging! I don't go crying to momma everytime I get hurt! Anybody who knows me, knows that! I have never complained, all the years of playing organized sports, that the refs had cost me a game. I just made you pay the next game by whipping your butt! Looking over my last post, I see where it might have been construed that I was whining about the refs! I congratulated the Steelers on their Superbowl win! I stated that you can't let the refs beat you! Man, I am not even a Seahawks fan!! I am not even a NFC fan. I love the AFC. I grew up being a Raiders fan and while living in Missouri have come to be a Cheifs fan!! If you will look at this post you will see that I love Bill Cower and the Bus!! I was rooting for them to get a ring. That being said. Now listen to your big brother Fitch! (remember you adopted me as your big brother)

The officiating stunk something awful! plain and simple! Now Fitch left a link to a post of his that says it all about overcoming bad calls. There were bad calls in that Steelers/Colts game and bad calls in the Superbowl! Enough said.

As Joe Pesci says, OK, OK, OK, you always get screwed in the drive thru!

I know that I left out an intricate part of that line, but my Grandpa might read this some time and can't have him seeing that!!

1st off, Congratulations to the Pittsburg Steelers! The NFL Champions!

Now I know that I predicted a Seahawks win. And they would have if they had only had to play one team last night and not two. One team was in white, yellow and black jerseys and the other was in black and white stripes. Now before you go and write this little rant off as sour grapes let me assure you, I have always said play well enough that the refs can't decide the outcome of a game. That being said, the officiating was teh worst I have ever witnessed in a game. If I didn't know any better I'd say it was the 1919 World Series all over again, except the only "black sox" were on the officials.

From fantom holding calls to blown touchdown calls this SB was the worst officiated game I have ever witnessed. Where did they get these guys from a flag football rec league!!!? Case in point: Seattle was the second to last penalized team in the NFL, all of a sudden they forget how to play football?! The worst call of the game changed the whole dynamic of the game. The Seahawks had just completed a pass to the Steelers 2 yard line. Then pow comes out the flag back behind the line of scrimmage for a holding call. replays show there was no such holding, not even close! it was enough of a blown call that Al Micheals and the John "fat man" Madden made comment that "sometimes you just can't see the holding call" sarcasm off. Anyways crappy game with crappy out come!!

So now I will go eat some crow, something I am very good at!!

SHUT UP I CAN'T THINK!!!

I cannot believe my coworkers! Can't they see I am trying to blog while I am here at work!! Can't they see I am busy!! I don't care if somebody's cold in their motorhome!! I am in the heating side of the RV business. I have too many things I would like to post on but no time at home and no internet at home (we just moved and the internet won't be up till next wed.) to search out and vet what I want to say. So I went around to check out what everyone else was talking about and then come up with my own take on some of the issues. Big problem, all of my blogging family are sooooo engrossed in this best blog so far vote ! So go vote for your favorite!!

So I ended up at CaptB's place and found this great post by him. I had wanted to post something about the SuperBowl coming up. Seahawks are going to win!! I think the Seahawks are getting no respect and they are going to turn that into motivation to win. But after reading this post I realized where this event should rank on my radar. Now you have to understand that I have been involved with sports all of my life. Next to God and my family, sports runs a close 3rd. Sometimes my wife said it runs 2nd to only God sometimes! But that is a whole other issue! I hate futbol though.

Anyways he put into perspective the similarities and differences between "warriors on the field" and "Warriors in the field of battle"! Sometimes I think we do our military diservice when we use terms like that. "It was war out there", "warriors on the field", "they ran their campaign successfully", "they did battle today and came out victorious". These describe what happens during a game and a season. But what do those same sayings mean to our military. Our kids and the adults too tend to idolize these sports "heroes". Don't get me wrong, from playing sports all my life, and being pretty good at them. JoeCool can verify because I have been whipping his butt all his life! I can appreciate what an athlete does with their God given talents.
I know what it takes to hit a fastball that has slight movement in on your hands, I know what it means to get "broke down" by an opponent in basketball, I know what it means to hit that approach shot within 3 feet of the pin (doesn't happen much), I know what it means to score that winning touchdown. But NONE of those things even comes close to comparing what our veterans of past and present wars have gone through and "Laid on the line" for their Country. So during the game and when the Seahawks win the superbowl keep in mind the real warrior and send them a prayer. Oh that reminds me Pittsburg doesn't have a prayer!! BWAAAAA HAAAAAA!!