Friday, January 26, 2007

Friday cat and dog blogging!!

I thought I would rip off everyone that has done either of these. Ha! So here goes with a little comedy included. No we aren't going to show you a picture of RT from the 80's, but a cute little story. Man, I love this picture of the golden retriever!!

Subject: A different perspective.

Excerpts from a Dog's Daily Diary:

8:00am Dog food! My favorite thing!

9:30am A car ride! My favorite thing!

9:40am walk in the park! My favorite thing!

10:30am Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing.

12:00pm Lunch! My favorite thing!

1:00pm Played in the yard! My favorite thing!

3:00pm Wagged my tail! My favorite thing.

5:00pm Milk bones! My favorite thing!

7:00pm Got to play ball! My favorite thing!

8:00pm Wow! Watched TV with my master! My favorite thing

11:00pm Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary:

This is day 683 of my captivity: My captors continue

to taunt me with bizarre dangling objects.

They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and myself are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape... In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the floor.
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. The audacity! There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage. Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs. I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released --and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded! The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. The captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe....... for now

Friday, January 19, 2007


" .... I have been handed a horrifying, and terrible news story. Our highly professional investigative reporters have uncovered a sad, sad story of a certain lawman from Philadelphia. It has come to our attention that this soft detective, who by the way, in my opinion bears a striking resemblance to Nathan Lane, maybe that's just me though. This pudgy gumshoe, has a secret man crush on the QB of the New England Patriots! Easy now, I know, crazy isn't it. Well, here is the proof in the pudding. Our news organization, HSN (Hairy Sasquatch News), has a video copy of our illustrious detective, singing of his love and admiration for this object of his affection. ATTENTION: This video may not be suitable for all audiences, children and people that like the opposite sex. So watch at your own discretion! There now that the lawyers are satisfied, Click here to view.

I know it's just horrifying. we deliberated long and hard before we decided that the public just needed to see this. Have a good night and good weekend. Good night!

Friday, January 12, 2007

Friday funny

HT to my cuz Donnie who sent this to me, funny stuff!

The Marine & the Journalists

Katie Couric, Charlie Gibson, Brian Williams and a tough old US Marine Sergeant were captured by terrorists in Iraq . The leader of the terrorists told them he'd grant each of them one last request before they were beheaded.

Katie Couric said, "Well, I'm a Southerner, so I'd like one last plate of fried chicken." The leader nodded to an underling who left and returned with the chicken. Couric ate it all and said, "Now I can die content."

Charlie Gibson said, "I'm living in New York , so I'd like to hear the song "The Moon and New York City " one last time." The terrorist's leader nodded to another terrorist who had studied the Western world and knew the music. He returned with some rag-tag musicians and played the song. Gibson was satisfied.

Brian Williams said, "I'm a reporter to the end. I want to take out my tape recorder and describe the scene here and what's about to happen. Maybe, someday, someone will hear it and know that I was on the job till the end."The leader directed an aide to hand over the tape recorder and Williams dictated his comments. He then said, "Now I can die happy."

The leader turned and said, "And now, Mr. U.S. Marine, what is your final wish?"

"Kick me in the butt," said the Marine.

"What?" asked the leader? "Will you mock us in your last hour?"

"No, I'm NOT kidding. I want you to kick me in the butt," insisted the Marine.

So the leader shoved him into the open and kicked him in the butt.The Marine went sprawling, but rolled to his knees, pulled a 9 mm pistol from inside his cammies and shot the leader dead. In the resulting confusion, he leaped to his knapsack, pulled out his M4 carbine and sprayed the terrorists with gunfire. In a flash, all of them were either dead or fleeing for their lives.

As the Marine was untying Couric, Gibson and Williams, they asked him, "Why didn't you just shoot them all in the first place? Why did you ask him to kick you in the butt?"

"What!?!" replied the Marine, "and have you three report that I was the aggressor?"

Monday, January 08, 2007

Hey, I kinda love these lists

Here is another one. I have been thinking about some of these things recently. This list is about people's behavior that I really, really dislike (only because my momma told me to never say hate), here goes:

. Apathy (that was for you Andy, just in case you didn't know what the word means) in the workplace. If you don't like your job, then find a new one! And don't give that baloney that you can't find one. I do not have a college degree, I have 2 yrs of college under my belt but no degree. And I have always been able to find a job that paid better than the average pay in the area. Find something you like doing and do it. This one leads into my next one.

. Bad attitudes in the service industry. If you are dealing with the public at least act like you enjoy helping the customer with what they need. I have just been in DC and at the hotel there I had to deal with front desk help and the bell captain that acted like I was a moron. Now whether or not they felt that way, they came across as if I was bothering them.

. This one is a big one with me. When you ask me a question or I ask you one, at least give me the courtesy of looking in my general direction while I talk to you or we discuss whatever it is that we are talking about. To look away and look at other things is to tell me that you couldn't care less about what I am discussing with you. It is the epitome of rudeness! It's like Foghorn Leghorn says, "I say, I say, I say look at me when I'm talking to you boy!"

. the victim mentality. Woe is me, everything happens to me. It's never my fault. This drives me nuts. Come on, everyone has problems. If you will be honest with yourself and everyone else you will see that everybody has lots of problems. We all deal with things everyday! I have issues that I have to deal with, family, attitudes, the public, stress. Who doesn't though?! I know that if I look at others honestly I see that I wouldn't trade my issues for anyone Else's. This victim mentality is probably the worst one for our Country along with the next one I am going to list.

. The Entitlement mentality. I deserve it. Not because I have worked hard for it, but just because of who I am, or what has happened to my ancestors, or just because I was in the state that was hit with a natural disaster. Hey, you get it after you work for it! It should never be a free ride, it's like the old saying, You don't work, you don't eat!!

. Judgements of fat people just from appearance. Why is it everyone looks at the fat person eating the desert. If you see a skinny person eating it, not a thought. But let a fat person eat a desert and there is the disgust. If a fat person has a spot on their shirt or blouse they are a slob. A skinny person gets a spot and it's like, Oh look isn't that cute, they got a spot on their shirt!

. Personal responsibility. If you see something that needs to be done, then by crikey do it. If there is trash on the ground, pick it up! When visiting DC and southern California this week I noticed so much trash on the ground and all over the place. Quit living like animals or children. It's not my job. Somebody else will get it, I don't need to! Come to work when your supposed to. Don't make it a habit of calling in sick! It makes everyone Else's job that much harder!

Well there you have it. If you have one of your own, leave it in the comments section. Or better yet, if you have a blog. Do one of your own and let us know what ticks you off!

UPDATE: RT mentioned in the comments that she wanted a student to listen more and talk less during class. it totally reminded me of one of my worst pet peeves. And that is when someone starts talking while someone else is either teaching or training or giving a speech. How incredibly rude of you to do that. I guess this one really gets to me. Probably because I train people in my profession. And while I usually don't have that problem while I am training someone, but when I see someone else doing it, it makes me want to get up and ask them to share it with the rest of the group since obviously they think it is more important than what is being said at the time! That really drives me nuts!!

Friday, January 05, 2007

Well, Shoooooo, I'm in DC

Okay so I know I'm like totally behind in blogging! The hits to this blog prove that out. Ugh! But, I am so stinking busy! So I see that I have been memmed by two different dorks, oops I mean great blogging minds! HA! The first one was TylerD with "Name 6 Weird things about you" Well, here goes.

6. I like to have the house or any room that I am in somewhere around 60 to 65 degrees! It drives my wife crazy! At least she thinks it's weird. You know when your hot, there is only so many clothes that you can take off before they haul you off to jail!

5. I can sit cross-legged (Indian style, Ooohh that was insensitive!) on the floor and grab my foot and put it up to my forehead. I used to be able to able to put it behind my head. It looks weird

4. I make a grimace every time I am concentrating on anything. While fixing things or whatever I make this face and it looks like I'm mad! I guess that is kind of weird.

3. I love the smell of skunk. I'm sorry but I think it smells good. There is just something about it.

2. I like to run the shower in the morning while I sit on my throne. My wife says it makes the water bill to high, but hey, I like it.

1. And the weirdest thing that I do is, I find myself sometimes having to touch something equal times on each side. Like there is four sides on a cell phone, I find myself having to touch each side before I put it away. I think that is like compulsive something or nother.

Well, there you have it, I'm a pretty weird dude!

Then Wyatt memmed me with "name 5 things you don't know about me" so here goes.

1. In my senior year in high school I got kicked out for kissing a girl. Kicked out for the year. No graduation!! That's just not right!

2. I love to got to swap meets. I don't know if it is because we used to go to them with our family when we were kids but, I just love going to them.

3. When I was younger I was quite the athlete! Something JoeCool and wreckse are very jealous about! Kachow!

4. I love to read. I'll read just about anything. Mostly fiction though