Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Joke of the Day

First let me say no offense to any Catholic readers. SO DONT TAKE ANY! HA! But this is funny, I don't care who you are!!!

The Pope took a couple of days off to visit the mountains of Alaska for some sightseeing. He was cruising along the campground in the Pope mobile when there was a frantic commotion just at the edge of the woods. A helpless Democrat, wearing sandals, shorts, a "Save the Whales" hat, and a "To H**l with Bush" T-shirt, was screaming while struggling frantically, thrashing around trying to free himself from the grasp of a 10 foot grizzly. As the Pope watched horrified, a group of Republican loggers came racing up. One quickly fired a .44 magnum into the bear's chest... The other two reached up and pulled the bleeding, semiconscious Democrat from the bear's grasp. Then using long clubs, the three loggers finished off the bear and two of them threw it onto the bed of their truck while the other tenderly placed the injured Democrat in the back seat. As they prepared to leave, the Pope summoned them to come over. "I give you my blessing for your brave actions!" he told them. "I heard there was a bitter hatred between Republican loggers and Democratic Environmental activists but now I've seen with my own eyes that this is not true."
As the Pope drove off, one of the loggers asked his buddies "Who was that guy?" "It was the Pope," another replied. "He's in direct contact with heaven and has access to all wisdom."

"Well," the logger said, "he may have access to all wisdom but he sure doesn't know anything about bear hunting! By the way, is the bait holding up, or do we need to go back to Massachusetts and snatch another one?"

Monday, August 28, 2006

There's no place like home, there's no place like home!

I've finally clicked my two heels together and come home! This summer has just flown by! I don't think I've been home for half of it. I left again on the 11th of August and just got home this past saturday. I was in NC. And no I didn't get to meet up with Uber! Man, what a post that was going to be! Wyatt would have never recovered!! HA! She was out camping with family which I think was a great thing for her! Flew to Tulsa to pick up my wife and family to drive home. We had a great time. Went to the Grand Canyon, the painted desert, the petrified forest. The Grand Canyon is just amazing. I thought I would be like, Oh well, another hole in the ground. Nuh Huh! It was amazing! Pictures do not do it justice! Here is on though.

Here is one with the Fantastic Travelling Elwell Family! Man, what a good looking family!

Here is one of the painted desert

And here is one of the petrified forest. I think this is soo cool. Of course thinking of petrified wood, Heh, he said wood, reminds me of Wyatt's golf game! HA! Or maybe, I should say, putrified! Man HA ha ha! *wipes tears from eyes* I kill myself!

Pretty much after that it was just hitting the road and In and Out burgers! Mmmm I love me some In and Out burgers!!! Double Double with onions!! I'm getting hungry just thinking about it. I need to find me some small children to eat!

Friday, August 18, 2006

It's about time!! Recap for Hot Wing Conspiracy baseball

First off, my deepest apologies to all my fantasy baseball partners, this recap is about 5 days too late. When I signed up for week 19 I thought it was next week and not the week of one of our biggest RV rallys. I just didn't have time to do it. So I'm sorry! But here it is:

So, before we recap, I will give you the obligatory explanation of the rules.
The stats your team builds up are broken down into 12 groups. For batters, there’s runs, homeruns, RBI’s, Strike-outs, stolen bases, and batter’s average. For Pitching, there’s Wins, Saves, Strike-outs, Holds, ERA, and WHIP. Each one of those is a win, a loss, or a tie. So in a given week, you can have any combination of wins, losses, and ties that add up to 12.
On to the scoring!

fmragtops - 7 Right Wing nuts - 5
My team just plain sucks!! It looks like Fmragtops owned the offensive side of the battle. The MVP of this week would have to by L. Overbay, my goodness he was on fire 10 RBI's he hit .393 w/ 2 hr! What a week! The loser this week: RP Walker for the tigers, what a putz! 27.00 ERA. Of course if right wing nuts would spend just a little more time working with his schedule he might put up some better numbers! Nice job Fmragtops!

Webcats-7 Robots Eat Babies-4
Well, the strength of these two teams is there offense. Sorry but your pitchers sucked this week. With Ryan Dempster being the only pitching bright spot. MVP this week: Vlade Guererro he hit .346 with 3 HR and 3 SB. Loser this week: Cuddyer from MN, he only hit .130 with 11 K's.

bRight & Early-5 Baghdad Bombers- 4

B&E won this week with the 2 saves from the Royals reliever. And what has happened to Jason Isringhausen? He used to be lights out! Hero for this week: Jimmy Rollins, 7runs, 3 HR's, 9 RBI's and hit .387 WOW! Zero: Ichiro, 4 strike outs in one week! that don't happen very often. He was just crappy!

Poca Dots Blog!- 9 RFTR- 2

Here is a great example of how the electoral college works. Even though the 11 catagories scored in were close the final score looks like a blow out. Only 2 of the catagories were blow ous the rest were close. 2 winners is this contest: Carlos Lee, 10 Runs, 5 RBI's while hitting .484 then there was Bobby Jenks, 1 win, 3 saves, and no runs scored!! Niice! There really wasn't a big Loser stand out. But since I got to pick one here goes: Shane Hillenbrand, hit .200 with only 2 RBI, and 2 runs scored.

CZC Owns- 5 Wookies will win- 6
Wookies pitching was really good this week. And this one was as close as the score shows. Of course any team with Albert Puljos is the odds on favorite! This weeks winner: Puljos, .385 scored 8 runs and only 2 SO! Loser: AJ Pryzinski you just can't hit .150 in this league and succeed!

Paws- 8 Akhtar- 3
Both teams played hard! (stoopid Rasheed Wallace, when he didn't want to answer any questions he would just repeat that over and over again till everyone would leave, what an Arse!) But here, both teams had great hitting and great pitching. Winner: Split, Brad Penny with 2 wins in one week, and Rodriquez for the Angels with 4 saves and 5 SO and 0.00 ERA. Loser: Lopez with 9 SO and .219

Columbia Cardinals- 8 Repubs lost in SD- 4
There just wasn't any hitting here at all. Repubs combined hitting average was .194 your not going to win to many games like that. The pitching was pretty good though. Winner: Weaver for the Angels was great, 1 win and 11 K's, 3.86 ERA pretty good. Loser: Ivan Rodriguez .091 hitting, that says it all!

Gashouse Gorillas- 8 The Galt-inators 4
Pretty anemic hitting here too. With A Rod being the only bright spot. Imagine that with all the boo birds in NY. And JJ Putz has come out of nowhere to seize the closer role in Seattle. Since then he has been lights out. Winner: A-rod, 3 HR's, 5 RBI's, 5 Runs scored, with a .485 BA! Loser: Coco Crisp, not only because his name sucks but he didn't bat too well either, .167!

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Where am I? Well, I'll just tell ya!

The winner is.........

Katey!! I'm in Charlotte NC! man is it muggy here! Last night while we were eating a HUGE thunderstorm came through and dumped 4 inches of rain. then rained lightly all night till about noon today! Now with the sun coming out it is muggier than before. If that is even possible. There you have it. I'll be going to MO friday and leaving for WA next week. I will be driving my family back home. Finally reunited! Whooo Hooo!

For those of you that care, I will be posting the results from week 19 of Hot wing conspiracy fantasy baseball soon.

Monday, August 14, 2006

Where in the world is Sasquatch!

Well, I'm not in the NW right now for sure! I apologize that I have not posted in a while. I had to get ready for this trip. And since I got here friday night I haven't really had time to post, what with setting up the show and golfing, you know, priorities! Now see if you can guess where I am at!

Hint #1 It took at least 10 hrs to fly with a 3 hr lay over.

Hint #2 It's warm and muggy!

hint#3 They have an NFL team here.

hint #4 They also have a Nascar track here.

hint #5 There is a blogger on my list on the right that lives not to far from this city!

hint#6 Wait a minute..... that ought to be enough to figure it out! Now get guessing!!

Monday, August 07, 2006

It's Monday and I got nothing!

Well, how about something from the wide wide world of sports!

First off, Tiger did it again! Man, this guy is on fire! (sorry Dad) He is just smoking everything. Back to back wins. Some of his approach shots were just sick! Coupled along with the fact he has put the driver at the back of the closed and is using his Fairway irons and 3-wood (heh, he said wood!) he is almost unstoppable. I saw a stat that said his approach shots from 150 to 75 yards out are on average 5' inside of the rest of the field. That means he is putting a 10 to 15 footer instead of a 15 to 20 footer for birdie. Five feet closer to the hole on your approach shots is the difference in scoring birdies instead of pars! This win this weekend was his 50th on tour. He is well on his way to 100 wins before he goes to the senior tour! That would be 14 more than the closest person. And nobody thought that 86 wins was attainable! Wow!

2nd we go to Nascar. Jimmie Johnson won the Brickyard 400. Now this is one of the biggest races of the year for Nascar. If you win at Daytona or Indianapolis then your year was a good one. Jimmie became only the second racer to win at both venues in the same year. Dale Jarrett is the only other. This win meant alot to Jimmie since one of his idols was Rick Mears the indy car racer. Rick was from California like Jimmie. A great race that had alot of drama, as much drama as a car race can have. Of course, it would have been better if that Looooooseeeeeer, Tony Stewart had bumped Carl Edwards in the race, then I think it would have gotten crazy then. Before the race Carl called Tony a Moron! Well that about sums it up about Tony! HA!

The NFL kicked off its exhibition season last night with the Raiders beating the Eagles 16-10. Of course this is just that, an exhibition game and really doesn't mean anything. Now I'm a Raider fan but if these two teams met in the regular season the Eagles would take them. And you wouldn't think there would be a lot of hard hitting in this game but there were about 4 or 5 that made you sit up and take notice! Pretty cool!

Last but not least. Baseball! The greatest sport ever invented! Now I know a couple of my fellow bloggers hate baseball. But I think that just means they were never good at it. Just keeping it real here. No offence meant. I hate writing, I have a lot to say, but am intimidated by the fact that I can't write as well as some others do. Insol is one of the best writers I know. The way he puts down his thoughts on paper, well blog paper, whatever, you get the picture. So I know where my weaknesses lie. So no offence when I say that. Anyways where was I going with this. See I told you I suck at this! Oh yeah, baseball! I think I bring bad luck to a team when I start rooting for them. My favorite team is the Dodgers! I used to bleed Dodger blue! They were my boyhood team. I grew up in So-Cal, so it was them or the Angels. But doing as much moving as I have, I have come to have a soft spot for the teams where I live. The Seattle Mariners and the KC Royals. Both of whom suck worse than I suck at writing! And I like the Cardinals too! Anyways the only team doing any good right now is the Dodgers. They are on a hot streak. Man, what a messed up paragraph! Nothing about baseball this weekend just some rambling about baseball! Wow! So much for the sports report! Till next time. So long!

Thursday, August 03, 2006

She's Baaaaaack!

Hey everyone, that would be my like 5 readers, Panda from What Panda is back! Everyone go over and welcome her back! Her husband is still in the service, serving our country over in Germany. So everyone go over and give them our support!! Go now.... Move it.... Go....!