Thursday, May 25, 2006

One Proud and Scared Cousin

I'm talking about me here! That is not me in the picture btw! And I don't get scared often. But when one of your close family relatives is going to be in harms way, well, all your male masculine bravado goes out the window! My Grandmother taught my dad and all his brothers and sisters how to love each other. What hurts one hurts all. When one is rejoicing we all rejoice! So our parents all passed this same trait down to us cousins! Needless to say we are all a close nit family! Let me tell you, if you mess with one you mess with all! Anyways you get the picture.

So, tonight we had a going away party for my cousin, Tiffany! Her official name is Sgt. Tiffany Shirrell. She is in the Army National Guard as an MP! We are so proud of her! And apparently she is a good shot too. I believed she qualified Sharpshooter! I think that is what they call it. Anyways she is going to Afghanistan for a year. I told her about and she thought that was so cool! I am sending her the contact information so that she can get set up and I can send her stuff! If you would like I will let everyone know when she sends in her requests. I also have her e-mail address and if you would like it to send her a line, e-mail me and I will send it to you! I would put it on the blog but some splodytard might get it and send her crap! Then I would have to find that splodytard and jack them up a little bit!!

Tiff, just got engaged to her fiance' Mike! He is a nice guy and treats her right! I hope they have a great life together when she gets back! At the least, please keep her in your prayers and thoughts while she is there! The second pic is of her and Mike, the others were of the party.

Monday, May 22, 2006

All is right in the world now.

Okay, everyone can breathe a little easier now. Finally now the President, and the republicans in Congress will start acting like conservatives. Just because of what happened over the weekend.

The terrorist have all realized there fallacy and will all go home and give back the explosives, and live in peace with their neighbor, all because of what happened this weekend.

Global Warming has finally come to an end. All because of what happened this weekend. Wait who am I kidding. There is no such thing as Global Warming! Bwaaaaahaaaahaaaaaaaa!

I will get a raise at work. I will now make 1 million dollars a year, and get a company car. Just because of what happened this weekend.

Micheal Moore choked on a chicken bone, no it was a whole chicken, and dies. All because of what happened this weekend.

Do you all know what happened this weekend? What? No? Why all is right with the world now. I can't believe you don't know!! With all the media coverage, and all. It's Barry Bonds. He hit a homerun to tie Babe Ruth for second place. Now, come on! You all knew that soon as he hit it, all would be well in the world. I mean that's why we all waited holding our breath till he hit the thing. I'm sure all these things are going to happen now because of what he did! The way the media was playing it up, it was a major occurrence for the U.S. and the world!

Sarcasm off now.

Thursday, May 18, 2006

What would Roy Rogers think?

JoeCool (my wittle bro) sent this to me. So H/T to him.

Top Eleven Old West Phrases That Will Never Sound The Same After Brokeback Mountain

11. "I'm gonna pump you fulla lead!"

10. "Give me a stiff one, barkeep!"

9. "Don't fret---I've been in tight spots before."

8. "Howdy, pardner."

7. You stay here while I sneak around from behind."

6. Two words: "Saddle Sore."

5. "Hold it right there! Now, move your hand, reeeal slow-like."

4. "Let's mount up!"

3. "Nice spread ya got there!"

2. "Ride'em cowboy!"

1. "I reckon this might hurt a little"

Now that is funny!

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Crikey Batman!!

Wow, that last post got a little hairy! Ha. Well, any time we can get a splodytard to go crazy is a good day for me!! Bwahahahahahahaha!! Here is something light to settle everyone down with. Something for you older (Linda) crowd! Heh! I kill myself!! Whew! I guess every generation has something that the next will never understand. Like my children ages 9 to 15 will never know what a needle on a record player sounds like when it gets to the end of the record! All they know is CDs! You mean you have to actually pick the needle up and move it back to the front of the song you want to hear it over again, Naw, I don't think so, that's too much work!

Well here it is, so sit back, get a cold one (can of ensure), take a multivitamin, and enjoy! Hehe!

Saturday, May 13, 2006

Rick Monday... Your a great American!!!

I think this is sooo cool!! It makes me wonder how many ball players or anybody for that matter would do what Rick Monday did here! I don't think any politician would do it!! They would be scared to upset those poor ILLEGAL immigrants. I think it is pretty inspiring!!

here it is!

God Bless Rick Monday!!

Friday, May 12, 2006

Oh Yeah, Who Wants Some!!!!

Oh yeah, I'm BAD!! I kick some serious rearend when it comes to hits!! I just went past 5000 hits in only 7 months!! Whoooo Hooooo!! Oh Yeah I ruuuuule!! Thats like 700 hits a month Maaan!! Oh Yeah!!! That works out to 20 some hits a Day Man!! I am soo ready to take on guys like Doc , Wyatt, (wow! calling out Doc and Wyatt, I feel like Ike Clanton) and all you other "BIG" Blogs!! Look out Big Dog on the block!!

What's that Honey?

DPT's got like 50 some thousand hits, Wyatt has 30 some thousand hits...... Mmmm..

Well, I still go more flair than they doo!!!!

Monday, May 08, 2006

I want to work my way into middle management

Recently I was e-mailed a spoof on a rookie baseball card for Barry Bonds. At first I thought it was hilarious. I wanted to use it on this post but thought otherwise, because it used a starving child from Africa to signify Barry Bonds before steroids. So I wont use it here, but if you want to see it put your e-mail in the comments and I will send it to you. It illustrates the point so well.

Okay, now that is out of the way. Barry Bonds is the first baseball player to try for mediocrity. He had the audacity to ask MLB if they were going to stop the game and celebrate him passing Babe Ruth on the All time Homerun list. WITW? (that is the sanctified way of saying WT*? heh! stands for "what in the world"). Barry, let me get this straight, you want to stop the game and celebrate when you pass the guy that is in second place?!! What are you thinking, have you taken so much of the juice that it has infected your brain that much! I'll tell you what, from now on in Nascar, when the race is over we can send the first place driver to the winners circle, then send the 2nd place driver to the Not the Winners circle. How about that! Maybe we could give the horse that comes in 2nd in the Kentucky Derby a horseshoe of pansies! Instead of Roses like the winner! Or maybe we could, oh I don't know, have people just run for the Vice President of the US instead of President! What an idiot!

You know what I think, I think that when MLB finally got there act together about steroids and you weren't going to be allowed to CHEAT anymore, you realized that you wouldn't be able to catch Hank Aaron! So you made it your quest to chase the, dare I say it, white Babe Ruth! This is all I hear on the radio. *News Flash* Barry Bonds just got one homerun closer to Babe Ruth! ESPN is going to break into programming when King Barry hits 715! I don't recall them doing to this when Ichiro passed Lefty O'Doul for second, let alone when he passed George Sisler for number 1 on the list of hits in a season! Why not wait till he breaks Hank Aarons record, oh wait, that's right, he probably won't make it now!

Barry, do us all a favor and quit saying you didn't take anything! We aren't stupid! We know it and you know it! You want respect and credibility, own up to your mistakes and take responsibility for your actions!

Monday, May 01, 2006

A day without Immigrants

First off, I want to apologize to all 5 of you that read this blog. I have not been very inspired in blogging. I am sooo sick and tired of all this crap with this ILLEGAL immigration thing. Everyone has written about it. So what more is there to write except to rant and rave about these morons. I heard some idiot say that they just wanted the same treatment and opportunity at the rest of America. Uhh, HELLOOOOOOOOO! DINGDINGDINGDING! We have a winner! Marty, tell us what he's won, well Stu, Juan has won a one way ticket to Mehico! Whooo Hooo! Ooops sorry got a little carried away there.

Your right mexican man, you don't get the same treatment, you get prefriential treatment. Lets see, no taxes on your pay, free health care, individual tutors that speak spanish, and a miriad of other "benefits" no one else gets! You should be in jail!! If I don't pay my taxes I go to jail, if I don't pay for my childs broken arm hospital bill, they can garnish my TAXED wages and screw up my credit report. BTW, do you even have a credit report? Oh, wait, you don't even have a Social Security number, so no credit report!

And then there are the morons like Steve the moron, that keeps commenting with asinine comments down below. Hey Steve the moron, If I want to make up weird sentence structure and make up new words and not spell things properly I can cause its my blog you ignorant idiot i'm so cool filmaker of movies that suck and only say one word in them, I am so clever look at me! Whoo hooo! great nice job idiot! How's that for run on sentences and fragmented sentences! And just to respond to one of your comments, I don't want broad and easy access to citezenship in America! That is not a good idea anymore. Sure it worked in the 19th century and early 20th century. But, so did Buggy whips and we don't need those anymore! Time for reform! That is true. I just had an idea.

Sssteve's solution to the immigration problem: NUKE 'EM!! heh, just kidding!

!. Build a wall with gun turrents and machine gun nests.

2. capture all illegal immigrants you can find. Can't tell them apart from the rest of us? Go to the local berry and lettuce field and look for the guys with their shirt pulled up over their belly with their hand rubbing said belly. Also they may be staring at any girl over 12 yrs old. Also ask them who the president of the US is, their answer will be, "Oh thats easy man, John Wayne!" Arrest them!

3. Make all criminals behind bars actually work for their repayment to society! Put them in the fields picking whatever, have them mow lawns, they can even help build the wall

4. And drill off the coast, in Utah, Alaska for more oil!! Oh, wait, that is a different problem!

I recieved an e-mail from Linda today asking everyone to go and spend money today to offset what will be lost from the morons not buying anything today. So I am going to fill up both vehicles, I have crown vic and a 12 passenger van aprox. 60 gallons of fuel today, I am going to eat out for lunch, and going to a Little league game and buy some food for dinner, all and all about $200 bucks!