Monday, May 14, 2007

Hit every ugly branch falling out of the Ugly tree!!

Here is a great one from my mom! What a cool mom! Happy belated Mothers Day to all you Mothers out there.

Sleeping Beauty, Tom Thumb and Quasimodo were talking to one another one day. Sleeping Beauty said “I’ve always thought That I was fairest of them all, but how do I know for sure?”
Tom Thumb piped up. “I’m pretty sure there is nobody smaller than me, but there could be, right?”
Quasimodo intoned “Surely I must be the most hideous, ugliest person in the whole world, but is that true? How would I know if that is true?”

Sleeping Beauty, being a blonde, naturally had no idea on how to check, but plucky little Tom Thumb said, “I know, let’s go ask those folks at the Guiness Book of world records. Surely they would know!”

So all three went into town into the main office of the Guiness World Record book. They were called into the office of the head researcher one by one.

Sleeping Beauty came out first with a huge smile on her face. “It’s true, it’s true, I AM the fairest of them all.”

Now it was Tom Thumbs turn. He came out of the office with his diminutive chest all puffed out with pride. “At last I know I am the smallest person in the world.

Finally it was Quasimodo’s turn. In he went into the office. After a short while, he came out, but with a look of confusion on his face and shaking his head slowly from side to side.
He looked at the other two and said, "Who's Rosie O'Donell?"

Wednesday, May 02, 2007

5th of May!!!

Since we are the Mexican Territory formally known as the United States of America we get to celebrate Cinco de Mayo. I think I'll take Friday off! Then quit my job and change my name to Julio Sanchez, get on welfare and make more money than I do now!! Whooo Hooo, what a racket!!! Here is a little poem I will leave you with. I call it: Poop on the Americans!

I cross ocean,
poor and broke,
Take bus, see employment folk.

Nice man treat me good in there,
Say I need to see welfare.
Welfare say, "You come no more,
We send cash right to your door."

Welfare checks, they make you wealthy,
Medicaid it keep you healthy!
By and by, I got plenty money,
Thanks to you, American dummy.

Write to friends in motherland,
Tell them 'come fast as you can.'
They come in turbans and Chevy trucks,
I buy big house with welfare bucks

They come here, we live together,
More welfare checks, it gets better!
Fourteen families, they moving in,
But neighbor's patience wearing thin.

Finally, American moves away,
Now I buy his house, and then I say,
"Find more aliens for house to rent."
And in the yard I put a tent.

Send for family they just trash,
But they, too, draw the welfare cash!
Everything is very good,
And soon we own the neighborhood.

We have hobby -- it's called breeding,
Welfare pay for baby feeding
Kids need dentist? Wife need pills?
We get free! We got no bills!

American crazy! He pay all year,
To keep! welfare running here.
We think! America darn good place!
Too darn good for the American race. I
f they no like us, they can scram,
Got lots of room in Pakistan