Monday, July 30, 2007

FInally back to Civilization!!

Whew, Finally back from the anual trek to SW Missouri. This state has always been 20 years behind the rest of the US. I realized this when I started living there about 1989. They were stuck in 1969! Nothing open past 9 pm. Nothing open on Sunday. The Walmart was open on Sunday's but closed by 5 pm. Talk about culture shock. I come from the NW and Fred Meyers, which had the concept of "one stop shopping" long before Walmart did, was open 24 hrs. If the element in your water heater went on the fritz you could get a new one, anytime! 7 days a week, 24 hrs a day. I'm telling you, 20 years behind!! I said all that to get to this. When I am in Missouri, I can't just get my laptop, fire it up, and log on the internet through my wireless card at my in-laws house. Wireless card? what is that? some kind of Witchcraft?!! They get maybe, and I mean MAYBE, 26K on their dial-up! That is like waiting 2 minutes for a page to load up, and if there are pictures, buddy, you might as well go mow the 2 acre front lawn and then it might be loaded up! So I have to trek into town, 7 miles, and try and find a WI-FI hotspot. Of course I have the computer genius of a Brother-in-law, I really mean that, but for some reason I can't send any e-mails at his place, recieve them fine, sending NO! So I drive around, find the local Java Dave's, trying desperatly to be a Starbucks, and ask them if they have WI-FI.

The lady behind the counter looks at me and says, "We sell coffee here."


Then the owner comes out from the back and says, "Why yes we have Wi-FI we just got it last week." she said this like everyone in the world got it last week.

Where is the duct tape when you need it. I sure wish Wyatt wouldn't hog it all!! So now that I am in a civilized place, and I have washed all the redneck cooties off. Especially, those I got from coverting with my friends from SW Kansas. Speaking of them. If you like bluegrass music, go to their website, Lynette has grey hair , I don't know if that's true or not, but I bet it gets a rise out of her! heh!! Go check them out. Someday they is goin' to be famous!!


Blogger RT said...

That thar WIFI is voodoo!

Maybe the store owner thought you meant HIFI, given their nature.

Note to self: Do not move to Missouri. (No offense to your in-laws.)

11:08 AM  
Anonymous jt said...

Sounds great to me... I get between 14 and 18 on my dial up so I don't even bother with it. If they had high speed out here I don't know that I would want it anyway.

And the bluegrass site was down when I tried to get to it.

8:59 AM  
Blogger Ssssteve said...

I fixed the link

1:51 PM  
Anonymous linda said...

He found the duct tape!

3:57 PM  
Anonymous Mark Roth said...

We were in Missouri last September for our son's wedding. His in-laws have DSL. If they're 20 years behind Oregon, how come Canby Telcom hasn't got DSL out to where we live?

Huh, now?

Oh, I was able to use WiFi when I was in MO.

You must have been in the wrong part of the state. We were in Seymour.

9:01 AM  
Anonymous jt said...

I would love to hear some of their stuff...

11:46 AM  
Blogger Wyatt Earp said...

Welcome back, man!

1:54 PM  
Blogger skywriter said...

I used to live in Billings, MO. . everyone said "Oh. . Billing. . MONTANA". . and I'd have to correct them. . no. . Billings. Missouri. . It was culture shock when I moved there from Southern California. The only pizza in town was Casey's (a convenience store) and there was no such thing as beer on Sunday.

3:29 PM  
Blogger Captain America said...

Sounds a lot like Jersey...sheesh!

8:57 PM  
Blogger RT said...

HEY!!!!!!!!!! I have wireless.

At least we have real liquor stores and we don't have to pump our own gas (and it is cheaper Philly boy).

9:36 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey, there's nothing wrong with Mid-America! Especially since ssssteve has returned to the NW.

Hey, ssssteve! Thanks for the advertising (and I'm not talking about the 'grey hair').

For jt...we've got some audio clips available now.

L. Cole

11:54 AM  
Blogger RT said...

Where in the world is Carmen San Ssssteve-0?

Sorry...I'm bored.

10:16 PM  
Blogger The Conservative UAW Guy said...


12:06 PM  
Blogger The Conservative UAW Guy said...


12:07 PM  

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